I hear and see so many people talk about spirituality and religion and nirvana. A lot of them don't even know what they are talking about. They just think that Nirvana is a state of ultimate ecstasy and once they achieve that, the world will be a different place and that the one would be rid of all material wants.
I'm not saying that I know anything; I don't. Thankfully I'm not misguided in my endeavor to search for the meaning of life. Thank God I'm not under the influence of any fake sadhu or something or under the influence of a priest of any religion.
Osho has been my guide to help me find the inner master. And I still have a long way to go. BUt I have a true master guiding me.
I really think I should put Karma Cola down!!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The blame is on Osho!!!
Nowadays, whenever anyone in my family has an argument with me, they all end up blaming Osho. Bechara, he gets blamed needlessly. Cause they can't win an argument with me, they end up saying "This is what Osho has taught you!!" or "This is his Osho" . I feel so sorry for them.
Well, mostly it's my bro and dad, sometimes my sister too. When they cannot present me with a reasonable argument, they start blaming Osho.
It doesn't bother me. No matter what they say it ain't gonna affect either me or Osho. He's happy wherever he is.
I used to be such a doormat for everyone. Now I don't let them walk all over me. I used to stop arguing with my bro sometimes cause someone had to be the bigger person. I've stopped trying to be the bigger person. I don't give a fuck. Like Osho says, call a spade a fucking spade. That's exactly what I am doing. If I don't like to do something, I ain't gonna do it. I've stopped trying to be the reasonable person and stopped trying to convince myself that I don't need to stoop to their level. Now I give them as good as I get. And better, in most cases. Most of the time they cannot provide me a legitimate argument.
So first they start saying that I've gone mad, then they start saying that I'm too stubborn and then they say that I'm sitting at home blah blah and the end is the Osho statement. Hehehe.
But I ain't gonna back down. They're not gonna put me in a corner now. I'll do what I want to do. Nobody is gonna walk all over me now. Period.
Well, mostly it's my bro and dad, sometimes my sister too. When they cannot present me with a reasonable argument, they start blaming Osho.
It doesn't bother me. No matter what they say it ain't gonna affect either me or Osho. He's happy wherever he is.
I used to be such a doormat for everyone. Now I don't let them walk all over me. I used to stop arguing with my bro sometimes cause someone had to be the bigger person. I've stopped trying to be the bigger person. I don't give a fuck. Like Osho says, call a spade a fucking spade. That's exactly what I am doing. If I don't like to do something, I ain't gonna do it. I've stopped trying to be the reasonable person and stopped trying to convince myself that I don't need to stoop to their level. Now I give them as good as I get. And better, in most cases. Most of the time they cannot provide me a legitimate argument.
So first they start saying that I've gone mad, then they start saying that I'm too stubborn and then they say that I'm sitting at home blah blah and the end is the Osho statement. Hehehe.
But I ain't gonna back down. They're not gonna put me in a corner now. I'll do what I want to do. Nobody is gonna walk all over me now. Period.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
.......................
Don't really know what it is these days. I'm beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. It maybe a temporary phase but I am sure as hell enjoying it. I have stopped to worry about what the world would think. Maybe I've even started to live for myself. Who knows?
I notice this change in me. I feel more content, more happy, more connected to God than ever before. It's like I'm just happy being. Just being. Nothing else.
I understand know what Osho meant by saying that we need to just be. There are a lot of things Osho says that really helped me bring my life into perspective.
There is still a long way to go for me. But I have this strange felling that I just know. I don't know what, when, who, which, anything. It just says I know. A feeling of peace.
Sometimes I feel disconnected from the rest of the world yet so much part of it. It's strange but it is.
There are so many things to change, so many layers to remove before I get to the real me. I don't know the real me. I am still on that journey. But I know I will eventually find myself. The inner master Osho talks about. I will find it. There is this overwhelming feeling of just knowing. Something that is too pure, too strong to be put into words. Something my intellect falls short of understanding. It's just there. Whatever it is, I'm happy that I found it. Just need to find a way to listen to it.
It seems to be a feeling of bliss, of happiness. It should just be there. Just be.
I notice this change in me. I feel more content, more happy, more connected to God than ever before. It's like I'm just happy being. Just being. Nothing else.
I understand know what Osho meant by saying that we need to just be. There are a lot of things Osho says that really helped me bring my life into perspective.
There is still a long way to go for me. But I have this strange felling that I just know. I don't know what, when, who, which, anything. It just says I know. A feeling of peace.
Sometimes I feel disconnected from the rest of the world yet so much part of it. It's strange but it is.
There are so many things to change, so many layers to remove before I get to the real me. I don't know the real me. I am still on that journey. But I know I will eventually find myself. The inner master Osho talks about. I will find it. There is this overwhelming feeling of just knowing. Something that is too pure, too strong to be put into words. Something my intellect falls short of understanding. It's just there. Whatever it is, I'm happy that I found it. Just need to find a way to listen to it.
It seems to be a feeling of bliss, of happiness. It should just be there. Just be.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Random Musings
So I've still not decided what I need to go back to doing. I am so caught up in life. All I do is read and try to fix my inner self. I have a long way to go.
I really want to leave the burden of the past. I want to get rid of all my anger, my grudges, my expectations which were not fulfilled ... everything that I carry around with me. I want to release all that. I want to forgive, forget, get over, whatever I need to do to get my release from this burden. I am not going to suppress any of it. I want to cleanse my subconscious of all that burden.
I'm going to search my memory for every person who's wronged me (in my opinion) try to understand their point of view or try some meditation to get over it. It's gonna take some time. But yes, I'm gonna do it. Be liberated. Unburdened. Ye-aah.
I really want to leave the burden of the past. I want to get rid of all my anger, my grudges, my expectations which were not fulfilled ... everything that I carry around with me. I want to release all that. I want to forgive, forget, get over, whatever I need to do to get my release from this burden. I am not going to suppress any of it. I want to cleanse my subconscious of all that burden.
I'm going to search my memory for every person who's wronged me (in my opinion) try to understand their point of view or try some meditation to get over it. It's gonna take some time. But yes, I'm gonna do it. Be liberated. Unburdened. Ye-aah.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Too much information
I had a great realization today due to something I read that Osho said about scholars and knowledgeable people. I realized that I too have become a storehouse of useless information.
What I mean is that I read/know so much useless information daily that I have made my brain a storehouse of useless trivia and facts. The information is useless. I mean I actually know what "Jumping the shark" means and which episodes of Boston Legal have "broken" the fourth wall. So, while I was thinking about what Osho had said, it dawned on me. I need to stop trying to get to know this useless information. It's got no use, and it wastes precious time which can be utilized doing something fruitful.
It's not that I enjoy reading all this. I guess I'm just trying to fill the gap inside with useless information.
Another thing that I have noticed is that I do is that I force myself to talk to people and have conversations that I don't like. Since the last two days I have decreased the number of calls that I take. I will not force myself to talk to people who spread negative energy and make me burn my time. If today is the last day of my life, then today I will waste my time talking to people who spread negative energy.
That means I am "cutting the crap" out of my life, so as to speak. As Robin Sharma puts it "Focus on the important".
So, without further ado, the following is my "Cut-the-Crap-Outta-My-Life" list:
What I mean is that I read/know so much useless information daily that I have made my brain a storehouse of useless trivia and facts. The information is useless. I mean I actually know what "Jumping the shark" means and which episodes of Boston Legal have "broken" the fourth wall. So, while I was thinking about what Osho had said, it dawned on me. I need to stop trying to get to know this useless information. It's got no use, and it wastes precious time which can be utilized doing something fruitful.
It's not that I enjoy reading all this. I guess I'm just trying to fill the gap inside with useless information.
Another thing that I have noticed is that I do is that I force myself to talk to people and have conversations that I don't like. Since the last two days I have decreased the number of calls that I take. I will not force myself to talk to people who spread negative energy and make me burn my time. If today is the last day of my life, then today I will waste my time talking to people who spread negative energy.
That means I am "cutting the crap" out of my life, so as to speak. As Robin Sharma puts it "Focus on the important".
So, without further ado, the following is my "Cut-the-Crap-Outta-My-Life" list:
- No more goggling for useless trivia. This also includes those long useless hours spent on wikipedia.
- No more useless telly surfing. Now, I'm only gonna watch tv for the specific programs I like. So that means no more crash & burn tv and no more elections' O8 coverage.
- No more talking to people who bitch, cry "victim" all the time, keep repeating the same crap day-in and day out and disturb my self-calm. Note to self: In case a call described in the above sentence is picked up, then it should be disconnected within five minutes with an appropriate excuse.
- No more bitching about the past and worrying about the future.
- Starting Meditation
- Try to live in the present, the here-now
- No more useless activities
- Try to be more of a witness than a do-er
- Not trying to be bothered about what others do
- Climb down from cloud no 9
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Reason
Over the past two days I've come to realize the fact that I tend to take myself too seriously. We put ourselves on a pedestal and think that the rest of the world is below is. That we know everything and the others are dumb. That we are enlightened and the others are not. That we know, and the others do not.
That is one of our biggest mistakes. What makes us so special? Money, good looks, good clothes everything is perishable. One day everything will go away. What will stay is our connection with God. We have come from him. And we will go back to him. Material things do not matter. They are important, no doubt, we can't do without them but they do not matter. We can have them or they can be taken away from us. But what we can't lose is our heart. Our soul. Our soul knows. It is wise.
The reason we are put on this earth is because we need to grow our soul. We need to educate it. Once we are ready, we go back into God.
When we are born, our mind may not know it, but our soul knows. Our heart is the gateway to the soul. Once we learn to use our heart, we can listen to our soul. Our soul knows. It has lived many lives. It is always trying to tell us something. We need to listen. We should learn to listen to it.
Don't take yourself so seriously. You are just another being. Every living being came from God. And that's where each goes.
We are greedy for materialistic things. But we are never greedy for nourishing our souls. God has given birth to you. God will always take care of you.
We are so full of ourselves that we forget to listen to God. We think we are all that. But we are not. Everything goes away one day. The soul knows. It tells us, but we don't listen. We listen to our greed.
Not that I am above all this. Till yesterday, I was the same. Greedy about a lot of things. I may go back to that. But today, I have listen to my soul. I know that it is futile. Today I am greedy for wisdom. I am greedy for wisdom of my soul. I am greedy for conversation with my soul. I love material things too. But I love my soul even more. I love God even more than that. My soul is my gateway to God. To listen to what God has taught me over all the lives I have lived. That is my wealth. That is my bliss.
That is one of our biggest mistakes. What makes us so special? Money, good looks, good clothes everything is perishable. One day everything will go away. What will stay is our connection with God. We have come from him. And we will go back to him. Material things do not matter. They are important, no doubt, we can't do without them but they do not matter. We can have them or they can be taken away from us. But what we can't lose is our heart. Our soul. Our soul knows. It is wise.
The reason we are put on this earth is because we need to grow our soul. We need to educate it. Once we are ready, we go back into God.
When we are born, our mind may not know it, but our soul knows. Our heart is the gateway to the soul. Once we learn to use our heart, we can listen to our soul. Our soul knows. It has lived many lives. It is always trying to tell us something. We need to listen. We should learn to listen to it.
Don't take yourself so seriously. You are just another being. Every living being came from God. And that's where each goes.
We are greedy for materialistic things. But we are never greedy for nourishing our souls. God has given birth to you. God will always take care of you.
We are so full of ourselves that we forget to listen to God. We think we are all that. But we are not. Everything goes away one day. The soul knows. It tells us, but we don't listen. We listen to our greed.
Not that I am above all this. Till yesterday, I was the same. Greedy about a lot of things. I may go back to that. But today, I have listen to my soul. I know that it is futile. Today I am greedy for wisdom. I am greedy for wisdom of my soul. I am greedy for conversation with my soul. I love material things too. But I love my soul even more. I love God even more than that. My soul is my gateway to God. To listen to what God has taught me over all the lives I have lived. That is my wealth. That is my bliss.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
To begin
i think I need to cleanse myself of: guilt, jealousy, greed, anger, shame, and the most important the ego.
I vow to not to take myself seriously.
I need to learn to live in the moment rather than wait for that perfect point in time. That will never come. Here-now is the perfect bliss. I need to learn to enjoy the little things and to cleanse myself of all dogmas and falsehoods that have taken over my mind.
I need to learn to live freely.
The past is a grave. And I should not live in a grave. The past is over. The future is not yet here. The present is the best moment. I should live out this moment because it will never return.
I need to discard the pseudo-knowledge that I have gathered over my life. All the dogmas that have been programmed by society into me.
I need to be happy as me. I need not be anyone else. I need to be at peace by myself. I need to be at peace with myself. There is no one I need to be but me. Just me. Me is fine. I only need to be me. No apologies. No 'I-shoulds".
I vow to not to take myself seriously.
I need to learn to live in the moment rather than wait for that perfect point in time. That will never come. Here-now is the perfect bliss. I need to learn to enjoy the little things and to cleanse myself of all dogmas and falsehoods that have taken over my mind.
I need to learn to live freely.
The past is a grave. And I should not live in a grave. The past is over. The future is not yet here. The present is the best moment. I should live out this moment because it will never return.
I need to discard the pseudo-knowledge that I have gathered over my life. All the dogmas that have been programmed by society into me.
I need to be happy as me. I need not be anyone else. I need to be at peace by myself. I need to be at peace with myself. There is no one I need to be but me. Just me. Me is fine. I only need to be me. No apologies. No 'I-shoulds".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)