How it all began

Ever since I was a little kid, I've postponed my happiness. I always thought that when I grow up, I'll work hard and earn piles and piles of money on my own and then I'll be happy. I never really enjoyed my childhood or my teens. I always used to convince myself that happiness, contentment and success are just around the corner.

I never used to count my blessings. I always used to want more. I never realised that how lucky I am. I never took the time to thank God for the wonderful gifts that he had given me. I am from a good business family and I had a lot of comforts.

However, I had a step-grandmother who always tried to make life a living hell for my family. My grandfather was always convinced that we are out to get him. My Dad, was like a dictator most of the time and between my granddad and my dad, my mom, my siblings and I were never allowed to live our lives the way we wanted to. Our wishes, dreams and desires were always laughed at or suppressed by either.

I always was a lone wolf. Because I was suppressed so much at home, my mother being the only saving grace, I never came out of my shell. I wasn't able to express myself most of the time and became a doormat most of the time. I was teased, bullied and humiliated in school, at home and was really tormented for about 18 years of my life. I even tried to kill myself a few times in those years.

I always used to convince myself that when I grew up I would get a job on my own and earn lots of money and then be happy. I always used to console myself saying that I would have my revenge on the people who are making fun of me when I grow up and earn lots of money.

So when I got a job, I immersed myself into it completely and I never thought about what I was doing to my health. I was so concerned about earning money, that I completely forgot how to be happy. I did have some moments of pleasure but overall I was screwing my health real bad.

It all came to a halt a couple of months ago. I fell sick and kept on going deeper and deeper. I barely escaped a nervous breakdown. I then decided that enough was enough and that I needed to change my life.

While I was sick, I kept getting a thought that I have to read The Monk Who sold his Ferrari. So one day, I picked it up and started reading it. It really opened up my eyes about what I was doing with my life and the changes that I need to bring about to be happy. It is then I decided that I am going to change and change for the better.

The Reason for a Journey

Over the past few years I have overworked, overplayed and outrun my health. This blog is my journal while I try to change my life and bring in some semblance of order.
This is my journey from darkness to light. My journey from despair to happiness.